Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The One Spider That Didn't Go SPLAT....

I watched a spider crawl across my windshield. I couldn't take my eyes away. Brendan drove, I watched the spider. It wasn't supposed to make it down the highway...it was supposed to fly away...flatten on the pavement...but it didn't. We drove the spider home.

I am feeling like that spider. Here I am curled up in a ball...days whipping by me like the wind. To and from work, street lights passing in my peripheral. Flowers are blooming amidst the spring floods...and it's all speeding by while I'm just trying to hang on. Where are the cops when you need to be pulled over...told to slow it down?

Days and days of rain...now thousands of little mosquito babies will be breakfast for my new spider friend. The sun will warm his 8 creepy legs; he'll stretch them across his silken doorstep. Maybe this is what I need...to get out of the car, slow it down...sunshine on my face....and a little bit of breakfast on my front porch.

I bought khaki pants at the mall...and a spider clung for dear life as we drove home...how very existential.
That's all for now,
P.S. I truly hate spiders. They creep my shit out. And of course the minute I start writing about them....one crawls across my computer screen...so...I smooshed it. It was a lil' one...no harm, no foul. Then....the mother of all spiders decides to crawl outta nowhere and try to eat me! (this all happened within a 30 second time frame) But don't worry...a nice thick copy of Lucky magazine and I taught that bitch a lesson. I fear that I have awoken the whole spider kingdom...and they only have eyes for me.


Anonymous said...

i watched a spider last night crawl around the nightstand. i let it scramble around. i can't kill anything.
maybe the new khakis will put some spring in your step. you sound d-o-w-n.

Anonymous said...

I hate it when old people tell me to "just wait, the days get shorter and shorter!" They should kindly go eff themselves because I don't need to hear about how much more unhappy and doomed I'll feel in twenty years, thank you very much. Girl, you need a day off. Pick a sunny one, get yourself a can of raid, and take back your life from the spiders!

P.S. thanks for the lovely comment you left on my last post. I heart you.

Cindy said...

Brandi, this was a cool post.

Spiders: ~crrreeepy~ I am the only person in my house who wakes up with spider bites. What is THAT about?! It's always on the back of my knee. Where else are they crawling while I slumber?

Time: Yeah. I recently changed my FB profile picture to a hamster on a wheel. I want something more. Something slower, deliberate, experienced. To feel that I'm really living my life. :Sigh: