Wednesday, December 2, 2009

"I Speak Loudly For Those Who Have No Voice" - Captain America

me in my Super Hero alter ego Underoos...."Knee-High Barbie"

I have a super power. Don't didn't know because I've never really told anyone before (except my husband). It's not really "super" like being able to fly or some shit like that...but I'm convinced that if I don't keep this power under wraps it will be coveted by fine institutions like the CIA, FBI, or NASA. I really don't want to be quarantined or mind melted by some sort of rogue super power stealing's mine and I'm keeping it. So don't tell anyone. K?

I don't know when it started....15...younger, older...who knows? But it's been going on for years and every time my abilities present...I blow my own mind that I am just THAT talented.

There is no name for what I am. Psychic? No...not reeaallly. Super duper Influencer? Um...maybe? now I'll tell you. My "super power" is entertainment based. Huh? You heard me. See, sometimes I'll just be randomly thinking about some random old TV show or movie I haven't seen in years....and lo' and behold....I flick on the TV a day, or week later...and there it is...on TV for the first time since like 1986! Freaky right? It happens all the time.

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to my boss about some old TV show that I used to watch when I was little. I couldn't think of the name of it and it was driving me CRAZY! You know the one with the guy in the flesh colored body suit that showed all of his organs (it was educational not gruesome) and he had a 'fro? Well, I Googled, and I Googled...and I finally just called my sister...and of course she just automatically said, "SLIM GOODBODY!". OOOOHHHH yeah! Slim Goodbody! My boss then remembered watching the show and we laughed at how we both used to laugh at the "bulge" beneath the large intestine...anyway...2 days later my boss came into work and said, "you'll never guess who is going to be at my son's school tomorrow?" Nope I would never have guessed...."SLIM GOODBODY"!!!! No shit?

I actually made him APPEAR? I know, I know, it's crazy...but it's true. He's like 50 years old now and started making appearances at schools...and it. You're'll be OK. I only use my powers for good.

That was just one little example...there is too many to list. I "influence" things so often...old Roseanne reruns, the new season of Hoarders (you're welcome), Pee-Wee Herman's return to Saturday morning television....all me!

What would you call this "power"? It needs a name...or I need a super hero persona or something. Help! Just keep it on the down low. powers could be desirable to the "enemy" and be used for evil if put into the wrong hands. Instead of The Blue Lagoon movie on could be forced to watch reruns of this guy and his "happy little clouds":

That's all for now,


goodniteirene said...

can you please bring back "ally mcbeal"?

Duel Living said...

I'm on it! While I'm at it...I thought I might give My So Called Life a try too. We'll see....