10 Things I Can Do For You

Well that one special day has arrived again! It's Bren's birthday! Let's all send a collective wish of many happy returns to "The Man".

Dearest, Deary, Dear Bren,

I love you so much. There is no gift that I can give that will equal my love...so....for your birthday...I am giving you the best of me. The best that I can do...which is about 10 things.

1. I will not yell at you if you sing really really badly in the car TODAY.

2. I will not cower under my seat belt if you dance really really badly in the car today.

3. I will not tell you to "act normal" today.

4. I will not stare you down and wait for you to excuse yourself after you fart today...and if you blame it on the cats...I will believe you.

5. I will not get angry if you are simultaneously watching baseball, playing a computer game, and listening to music (really really loudly) TODAY. I can't promise about tomorrow.

6. I will beer you and not complain...even if I already sat down. But just today.

7. I will watch whatever movie or TV show you want even if it has Weird Al in it (or Arnold, or Bruce, or Jackie, or Mel, or Harrison). Today...but probably never again.

8. I will not ask you to wash your hands or if you washed your hands or check your hands to see if they need to be washed. (please just wash them on your own...kay?)

9. If there are dead rodents on the front path in the morning...I will not ask you to "chuck them in the woods"...take a day off...you can do it tomorrow. Hey...it's your birthday.

10. And lastly...I will give you the best of me...the best that I can do...today...without complaint, without any drama, and without regret. (Hell...it's only one day...and it's YOUR DAY!!!!!)

Because...Brendan, you give me the best of you everyday. Without complaint, without any drama (weeelllll????) and without regrets (I hope), and you DON'T wait for a special day. Thank you for all that you do, all that you give, and all that you are. I wish it was kosher for women to give their husband's cheesy jewelry because you'd be gettin' a diamond heart shaped pendant right about now. Instead...just look up...cuz' those 10 things up there...are for you.

Oh, and tonight at dinner...at the fancy schmancy restaurant I'm taking you to...

# 11. You can eat as fast as you want and I won't yell at you to stop and breathe! I also won't check to see if the other diners are watching how fast you are inhaling your food. And if they are watching...I won't care. I'll wave and smile and nod and give them a thumbs up to show them that I am proud to have you as my husband...my husband that I love...and that eats really really fast! (which can be really annoying and infuriating to watch...but today...I won't care...or I will act like I don't care) CUZ' HEY BRENDAN...IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!! I hope I get to hear your parents singing that song on the answering maching again this year. It really is a great tradition.

I love you Bren. Happy Birthday My Love. May all of your wishes come true.

That's all for now,

Love,

Mrs. Bratty Pants