Monday, June 22, 2009

What would you do for 10 Million Dollars???

A couple of years ago, I was tuned in to the radio and they were polling the listening audience...what would you do for 10 million dollars? My instantaneous gut reaction...pretty much anything...but the things they had in mind...well....

1. Would you jump in a dumpster full of thousands of needles?

A: If the needles were clean...gimme a boost on in. Acupuncture is said to be therapeutic right?

2. Would you dance through your neighborhood naked?

A: That one is a little harder...but sure...the neighbors could use a good laugh. With the glare off my ass, they might be dazzled into thinking I was a UFO.

3. Would you wear a Merkin to work for one full day?

A: First of all...what the hell is a Merkin? For those of you who don't's a pubic wig. I know, I's a mystery, but if I wore it over my pants...could I get 5 Mil instead?

4. Would you end every sentence you said to someone with, "...And you're a bitch!"

A: Uh...Hell YES! I kind-of do that now (under my breath) since I work in retail.

Ok, I wouldn't do ANYTHING. It's not like I have no sense of shame. But 10 million couldn't hurt in this economy. You could buy a whole lotta o' Merkins and make a really bitchin' coat for when you're freezing your ass off out on the street cuz' you got fired and now have no job or home having spent all of that dough on said pubic wig coat. Merkins are pricey these days. Plus, you'd be even colder with thousands of little needle holes in your skin, and your neighbors would be of no help cuz' you scared their children and burned they retinas with your glow in the dark pasty white skin. (Are we still talking about you?)

I'm keeping my job in retail. I'm keeping my skin intact. I like my neighbors, and their retinas. You can decide for yourselves what you would do for 10 million dollars.

That's all for now.

...And you're a bitch!


No comments: