Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Swings Are For Suckers

I can picture myself in one of those fuzzy soft-focus photos...on a swing...feet over my head...all dressed in linen...white Mary Jane shoes. The epitome of freedom...a soaring manifestation of bliss.

Unfortunately, I hate swings. I don't wear linen (it wrinkles)...and Mary Janes aren't in my Payless BOGO budget.

For me, bliss is...my feet over my head in my LazyBoy recliner...wrapped in my knock off Snuggie (yeah, it's a knock off...so f*ckin' what?), slipper socks on my feet. This scenario is so much more appealing...but much more in need of the fuzzy soft focus lens.

I am far from a thrill seeker. "Extreme" anything...is way too extreme for me. If napping was a sport...I'd be Olympic Gold.

I'm boring...I said it. But I am not bored. I enjoy being lazy and snugly and warm. Why do I have to hike my ass up some mountain just to hike it all the way back down? Why do I have to bungee jump off a bridge, when I can just walk over it, then under it...all while standing right side up? I would much rather read a book, get lost in someone else's story. I would much rather write a blog that maybe no one but my sister reads.

I don't care that I'm a boring slob in bathrobe...I'm a happy slob. Not sexy, not perfect, not neat. But what is the fun in being "extreme"...when you can't be "extremely" happy doing nothing. Aha! I've blown your minds!

Me? I picture myself skipping the dishes. I picture myself not vacuuming the floors. I picture my self all soft focus and fuzzy...with my feet above my head (in my LazyBoy recliner), slipper socks and Snuggie...re watching Twilight for the umpteenth time...in perfectly happy, sublimely euphoric...relatively simple but wonderfully "extreme" BLISS...

Oh yeah...and swings are for suckers.

That's all for now,



Jackie Lansdale said...

Thanks Brandi.......I read your blogs..I'm only your mother

Brandi said...

Oops...sorry...I meant only my family reads my blogs...ok and maybe a couple of friends. Ok whoever reads it reads it...and I thank you all (all 5 of you). I didn't mean to exclude anyone. Loves!!!

Niki said...

hi aunt brandi i am so glad that gus cam back a long time ago so i wrote u this message beacuase i miss max and gus i miss you and want to see you ps i think you are pretty. love jadyn

Niki said...

Hey Bonz if anyone gives you crap over your "knock Off" snuggie you tells them they will have to deal with me!!!! ....since I am the schmuck that bought it for you! LOL

I love you and I LOVE your blogs keep them coming!!

Brandi said...

Hi My Love Jadyn! I miss you too! And I think you are way prettier! I want to see you soon! Max and Gus told me they miss playing with you, so you'll have to come visit soon. Love you soo soo soo much!
Aunt Brandi xoxoxoxo

Kendra said...

LMAO @ the pic of the woman on her *stylish* sofa, hangin' out in her snuggie! (I really did laugh out loud. lol) That's why I love u!

<3 Kenge