Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Hot Cross Buns...

I am feeling very "uncool" as of late. I am in that blah stage of my life where my mind is getting slower, my body is getting veinier, and my wardrobe is in desperate need of a little Rachel Zoe. I want someone to tell me that I look "bananas"...and for it to be a good thing. Instead...I am that girl...that "uncool" girl...when I so wish to be ROCK 'N' ROLL.

I want to live on an album cover (with hot pink lips). I would hang myself on a wall or live in a plastic crate of some really snappy alterna-kid's basement. That would be Rock 'n' Roll.

I'm growing my bangs out...and I really don't want to grow my bangs out. Bangs are Rock 'n' Roll...but not on me...with glasses. On me...bangs are super dweeby. Right now they are the Divinyls chick's length. I'm "rockin' the "I Touch Myself" "Look". It's definitely a "look"...and not only do I NOT want to "touch myself"...neither does anyone else.

If I had an axe (of the stringed variety)...I'd hammer on that shit! I'd riff till morning light and sleep the day away as the walls continued to vibrate from my awesomenosity. Sweet dreams..."Sweet Emotion". Bic lighter kinda dreams...all lit for me.

Alas...I'm more of a cassette tape cover in a glove compartment kinda girl. I have those uncomfortably awkward mid face bangs. (So not Rock 'n' Roll) I have no axe...not even a ukulele...not even a kazoo. I'm more of a recorder kinda girl. (Brendan calls them a Flutaphone...dork!) Remember recorders...4Th grade...? Remember the feeling of actual shame from playing in the mandatory "band"? Yup, that's my life. I'm in a permanent recorder band right now.

It is my expressed wish and ultimate goal...to never...NEVER... look like this woman. Effed up bangs. A "Femmullet", and flutaphones slung across BOTH shoulders! She is a Rock 'n' No.

Hot Cross Buns!!

That's all for now,

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