Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Menagerie of Death

Most people love the "curb appeal" of their home. They plant flower beds, and window boxes. Their eyes twinkle as the sun glistens off a brand new brass knocker. Their grass is green, their pathway swept and shiny. There is a sleepy cat in the window. This is the average front yard of "most" people. But not mine...uh...no...not mine
I have dead bugs stuck on my house. Burnt moth wings like paper mache swaddle my front porch light. Little black whatever bugs coat the windows and the eaves...polka dotted house paint, the kind that won't rinse off.

I have dead animals on my front walk. Moles and mice pepper the pathway. Chipmunks and birds...frozen in forever...left as a present...no bow...just blood and feathers...and a pleased and chipper kitty staring up at me with pride.

I have a dead deer carcass rotting 30 feet behind the back yard fence, and a coyote that comes to visit it.

I have a husband that has taken a liking to using a large scooper (jai alai style) and winging the small dead animals into the woods behind our fence. They catch some pretty good air. He wants to get a BB gun for the "Hangers On" that the cats drag home. I don't deal well with the "Hangers On".

Dum da dum dum...my yard is a menagerie of death
Halloween is coming...I guess I won't have to decorate. I'm thinking about putting out twinkle lights this x-mas...it'll be the most morbid Santa scene in the neighborhood. Who needs reindeer when you've got 7 dead moles and a squirrel? I'll just add a little sleigh and voila! Home Sweet Home.

Yeah...so there's dead stuff everywhere. So the lawn is a little crunchy when Brendan mows. The mailman has to navigate spiders and moth wings...so what? Right? There may be dead gifts from our "children"...but they're given with love...so I love them...blood and all. We may have to resort to gun violence...but that's the price you pay when you have a "family". It may be a little gruesome...but its ours....

We're kooky and we're spooky...the Yeager Family...da da da dant...snap snap.

That's all for now,


Anonymous said...

Max and Gus must make you so proud!!!

Brandi said...

Yup...and they make the neighbors proud...and the mailman....and the garbage people...and the coyotes. Everyone loves a rotting rodent land mine.