Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The Side Dish....A Husband's Worst Nightmare

I will never claim to be a food connoisseur. I know what I like...and I generally will try anything...unless it contains fish...that's a no no.

I hate to cook. I don't know if it's because I don't know how, or if it's because I just don't like to do it...probably because I just don't like to do it...I'm lazy. I never learned the little nuances of cooking...where does the marjoram go? How much clove do I put in the rice? Does the raspberry truffle taste like it needs more bay leaves to you? You know...the basics.

So Brendan and I made a deal. He would do all of the cooking and I would do all of the clean up and the dishes. Pretty fair...pretty fair. And Brendan isn't a bad cook or anything...far from it...he's way better than me, but............he has an "issue".

Side Dishes.


Side Dishes.

He makes f*ckin' weird side dishes. No, wait. It's not that the side dishes are weird, they just don't usually match the main dish...and that can be interesting. Still don't understand? Try these on for size...

Tacos and Mashed Potatoes

Ham Sandwiches and Canned Corn

Steak and Tater Tots
And my recent favorite...Some kind of Lunch Meat Sandwiches and Brussel Sprouts

And in Brendan's food world...rice goes with it beans, chicken, eggs, sandwiches, or hamburgers. Rice makes the meal. I think he heard too many Rice-A-Roni commericals growing up or has now become the Boston, Massachusetts treat.

I should be thankful that he does all of the cooking (and the grocery shopping)...and I am...I really am. I am not hungry, though I have gone hungry on a few occasions when my Love has experimented, but I resort to granola bars or cereal. I think we need to get back to basics. Brendan needs to learn the food pyramid again, and I just need to either suck it up and eat my bagels with their side of tortilla chips, or learn to cook myself.

I guess I'll just suck it up. Cooking f*cking sucks! And in the future....our children will be the topic of conversation at every play date as all of the other kids speak of what they ate over at little Gustav Octavian Yeager's House (this is what my husband wants to name our child) Chicken Nuggets and Eggplant...Grilled Cheese and Beets.

That's all for now,


Erica LeBlanc said...

Yes, your've very lucky that he cooks. Maybe he should post a "menu" for the week like the high schools cafeteria, and you can pick and choose which nights you come home.

goodniteirene said...

it looks like a turkey aborted a boston market.
currently looking for a bucket to barf in.............
stay away from the kitchen.

Cindy said...

I agree. I want my side dishes to "match." Maybe he can do the main dish and you can put together a salad or warm up a bag of frozen veggies and bread sticks?

I know what you mean though: it's hard to complain when your man does something sweet and helpful. And odd.


bernthis said...

cooking fucking sucks is right. I live by that motto

Anonymous said...

Tacos and mashed potatoes, Brilliant! This fellow sounds like a real culinary genius. And I must say I agree with him, rice does go with everything, Brilliant!

Brandi @ Duel Living said...

Dear Brendan,
You must stop commenting anonymously...especially since I know it's you within the first 5 words! I love you and you are brilliant...culinary genius...???'re workin' on it.