Friday, January 8, 2010

Snot Duty...All In A Days Work...


I like my job...generally. I deal with a lot of bitchy, wealthy women who don't have any sense of taste, tact, or humor, but it's ok, because I just suggest they decorate their living rooms in puke orange...tell them it's the latest rage...add a little paisley in a pus green, and send them on their way. They fall for it...these rich, tasteless ladies. Like putty in my hands...I just knead them into submission, and they pay me for it.
Rich Bitchy Women: "Really, this orange color..."
Me: "It's called Mac N Cheese..."
RBW: "Right...Mac N Cheese...you really think this should be on my bedroom walls with the...uh...yellowy/green settee in the uh paisley?"
Me: "Oh yeah...it's the tits. All the rage in Dubai this year. You will be the talk of the town! And by the way...it's pus green...the color...it pops!"

I do have a lot of down time. Idle, lazy, Facebook perusing, ass picking down time. I'm not good with down time. If I was home...down time is golden....at work...down time is torture.

I ask for projects all of the time. Please, please, please give me something to do!!!! Load me up with tasks where I can get lost in time and the minutia. But...sometimes this isn't a good thing.

If you need me tonight...I will be cleaning snot off of the windows up by the "North River" bedroom set. Yup...I'm not reallly planning on getting lost in that minutia. Don't get me wrong...I'm not too proud to clean snot. I am an interior decorator/furniture sales associate/snot cleaner upper...and I'm damn proud of it. But I would have rather continued to pick my ass than clean what someone else picked out of their nose. TOO LATE!

Ask and you shall receive. Down time = Snot time. If you've got time to lean...you've got time to clean. Blah blah blah. I was hoping to inventory our wall of fabric samples or something time consuming like that...but I should be thankful I'm not licking the toilet bowls clean. I love my job. Well, I like my job. Well, I have a job. Yeah, I have a job. Hallalujah!!! Please let me know if anyone needs any design help anytime in the future...I hear Snot Yellow #241 is making a comeback!

That's all for now,
Brandi

5 comments:

goodniteirene said...

where do you work? i want to travail amongst fabrics and furniture. lucky biznatch.

Duel Living said...

I work at Boston Interiors...I am in furniture sales/and in home designing. It's pretty fun most of the time...until I have to clean snot.

Erica LeBlanc said...

...gag....

bernthis said...

I would have to wear a mask and have a bucket next to me in case I puked.

goodniteirene said...

goodniteirene: middle name is irene. too many of my clients had become facebook/twitter friends, and i had to start curtailing my language and opinions....thus i started blogging. didn't want them to find me so i wanted to use something with my name sort of my name that my friends and family would recognize (irene). there's a famous saying: "good night irene!!!" that has been said to me all my life. there's also a song. which my aunt has since pointed out is about a girl, irene, who offs herself. :-| thanks aunt charla.