Thursday, November 19, 2009

Jumpin' Jack Flash....You Know What It Is...

Could it have got any worse?'s me remember? No I don't have scabies or anything like that...just the typical loser -y type of shit that always happens to me happened...yet again.

On my way to were cranked...heat was pumpin'...traffic was not so bad...lights saw me coming and miraculously turned all green just for me...then...BAM! Shut trying to move a stone sculpture I was. Late for work I was going to be...because...
I ran out of gas!
How far away way the gas station you ask? Only about 1/2 a mile...but way too far for my prissy lil' ass to walk.
So, I cursed the gods that obviously have it out for me...and called work. BUT WAIT! Yup, my phone is dying. BUT WAIT! I have the phone-in-the-car-plugger-inner-thingy! BUT WAIT! My car doesn't work...cuz' I ran outta gas! Through the beeps, I told my boss I would be late...and I would call her right back. Through the dying tones I called Bren and asked if we had road side assistance. Through the failing pulses...the last drops of power...I called for assistance...through my phone...grasping for juice...I got this:

Press 1 for English (beep, beep, beep...this is bullshit...)
Press 1 for a new claim (beep)
Press 2 for an old claim (bleeeep, bleep, blllleee....)
Press 3 for roadside assistance (3 damn it 3!!!!)
Press 1 if your car is immobile (beep are you effing kidding me? beep, beep)
Press 2 if your car is....(I can't friggin' wait for phone is dying here people! Beep, BEEP, BEEEEEEP)

So, with the last ounce of strength and power that my phone could muster...I dialed work and said, "COME GET ME!!!!"
I walked into work with my head held low...for this is just too typical. Flat tires, missing keys, bad moods, gas tank on empty. The world has officially given me the finger. And now...I'd like to give it back.

On a lighter note...I'm in a better mood today. Could you tell? My car is safe & sound and has a full belly of gasoline. My phone is on the charger...and tomorrow...I'm going to get to work on time...even if I have to walk there naked, shoeless, and in my granny panties (cuz' I didn't do laundry tonight either).

That's all for now,
xoxo Brandi

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